I’m on the flight back from Las Vegas, after visiting the Grand Canyon. (Warning: if pics annoy, stop reading now.) We were delayed an hour and a half which means I don’t get to kiss my babies good night. Although I’ve done this task countless times before, the loss of just one time makes my heart sad knowing these moments are limited.

It’s how life goes sometimes and accepting that which I cannot change is one great secret of happiness, I suppose.

I’ve seen something majestic over the last few days. We walked 6 miles yesterday observing every possible angle and peak we could soak in. We never stopped feeling awe.

I didn’t understand how desperately my soul needed what the Grand Canyon was selling.

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If I knew the ending before I started, it would change the way I feel about what I have to do. I’m sure I would run with more gusto, whistle with each step. I would already know all the pitfalls and how I would rise from them. What would change if I already knew what happened tomorrow? I suppose it would have made my last few days better.

Zig Ziglar said that motivation was like taking a bath, you need it daily. Yeah, I can understand that.

This is what happens when Dad gives them a bath.

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Sheer panic, as I frantically look for her pacifier. I’m running late.

She is impatiently demanding and you feel the pressure build, knowing the tantrum will  only worsen if this paci is not found. I have checked my purse, crawled in to search the floor, felt under her bottom, patted under the car seat, back to the purse…no luck. So I step back and reassess. I’m frustrated, “I just had it!”. In my hand, is my car keys and sunglasses. I check my pockets again, front and back. All the while continuing to scan around the car seat certain I overlooked it.

Exasperated, I give up, knowing it will be an intolerable ride. “I’ve got to go!” Get in the drivers seat, put down my phone and sunglasses, remove the keys from my fingers only to notice there is still something dangling.

Five minutes of precious time wasted, an abundance of adrenaline pumped into my system, an overall annoyance in my words with my daughter and it was on my ring finger the whole time.

Looking for something I had all along. This is the story of my life. Continue reading →

Yes, that’s right. I said, Ugh!

Boys built a bridge to the rock out back. Good for the soul.

Work, be still, work, rest, sleep (enough but not too much), exercise, work, celebrate, be merry and work. Yes, its all in there. In between Genesis to Revelation, its all in there. Do it all. (Thankfully, so is drinking wine but its best to limit that to the celebrating and being merry part.)

Doing it ALL in the correct proportions is the hard part. That’s why I Ugh!

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The week was unusually unkind. Coming into the weekend, spending time with the family felt like that necessary home base to regroup and escape the ways of the outside world if at least for a few days.

Saturday night, at 4:30pm, I texted some friends. It was just a shot in the dark but does anyone want to come over? By 6pm my house was full with three families and pizzas. It didn’t matter that toys were scattered, beds were unmade or that stinky trash needed to be taken out. We greeted with hugs, fell right in where we left off and the kids entertained themselves. It was community to us and it was the finishing touch to the re-strengthening our hearts needed in order to engage battle again.

This is how community has been for me. Belonging to a community has always required something of me, but in return it offers protection, provision and plenty of great memories.

Lately, I’ve been reminded of the challenges and insecurities that arise when getting acquainted with a new community. Please, I beg of you, let my mistakes help you.

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I can really tell you about my life and the special things that have happened in the past few years. One of the things that have happened besides I have to tell you my name and my age. My name is Joseph and I am 7. I no it is kind of surprising that I am writing a story or a blog.

And one of the things that is very important in my life is that God spoke to me in one way. And that is in a book. It said, “Keep on trying.” Reader keep on trying. It told me to keep on trying soccer because skills is hard.

I like how He did that. Because that in the future I will become a great soccer player and a great sports player.

I’m a soccer mom. I have the over-sized apartment on wheels to prove it. It has a special feature in which it dumps a little trash out every time you open the door. I blush every time it happens. Usually, its a water bottle, a toy, a ball or some unidentifiable object. The best time was when Kate’s boot (on a very cold day I might add) fell out and went straight down a street drain. Yeah, we didn’t get that back.

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

Soccer winter session is about to start and I’m already feeling verklempt. It is really embarrassing that 2nd grade soccer can get to me like it does. So I bring my confessional to you as proof that I’m crazy. Continue reading →

Life is full of when I don’t want to moments. House cleaning is high on that list for me. In fact, I’m avoiding it right now. With three kids under 7 in my house, it takes approximately…um…yeah…that long for my house to get unrecognizable.

2012 was one of those years that just getting out of bed felt like more than I could handle. I share because I believe many of you have been there. I had been so physically, emotionally and mentally beat down I wasn’t sure my body could keep going. I felt physically ill every morning waking from my bed but I couldn’t stop. Some seasons of life are definitely harder than others. Continue reading →

Zachary hides behind balloon when he didn’t want to be the center of attention on his birthday.

Rejection does not wear well on me. It begins with the assumption that they don’t like me until they prove otherwise. It is regret of something said or done that would be worthy of criticism. It makes me think I can fix every mess I ever made before anyone notices. It says to me “you’re not a pretty girl”, “you can’t write”, “it isn’t worth the risk”.  I own it and wear it.

I used to shake whenever expressing my true feelings for fear my exposed heart would be hurt. But here I am, putting it out there for the world to see knowing that I’m a complete mess who regularly says stupid things. Somewhere in it, I allow God to be enough and someone else’s heart is touched. Continue reading →

That moment when you wish you had kept your mouth shut. It can come in many forms but for me, my regret consisted of analysis paralysis accompanied by verbal diarrhea. I was stuck in this place where my mind was trying to make sense of it but it was going nowhere. Yet my mouth was running. The only thing I accomplished was making it worse.

My intentions of course were to encourage, bless, lighten the load my husband was carrying that day. He was experiencing real heartbreak. Previously, he had been soaring high certain he was headed for new heights and like a dart to a hot air balloon comes criticism and betrayal. Continue reading →