If I knew the ending before I started, it would change the way I feel about what I have to do. I’m sure I would run with more gusto, whistle with each step. I would already know all the pitfalls and how I would rise from them. What would change if I already knew what happened tomorrow? I suppose it would have made my last few days better.

Zig Ziglar said that motivation was like taking a bath, you need it daily. Yeah, I can understand that.

This is what happens when Dad gives them a bath.

I told my husband that I had been a terrific mom over the last few days but a terrible domestic engineer. I had not done any noteworthy cleaning or cooking over the last couple days. With three kids under the age of seven, I do not recommend trying this at your home. It gets gross, quick.

Anyhow, I just didn’t have the motivation. I don’t know what else to say.

There are plenty of things that motivate me. 1. I am motivated by deadlines. God forbid, anyone ever think I’m irresponsible. I’ve missed my fair share of deadlines but I don’t talk about those in open forums.

2. I am motivated by thoughts or words from sources that can get to the core of why I live my life the way I live my life- songs, books, speakers, preachers, friends. They all play a part in assisting the voice of God in my heart to guide me.

3. Sadly, I am motivated by the fear of regret or embarrassment.

Even with motivation, I can find myself not necessarily quitting but not trying. The in between part of where I am, to where I am going feels too cumbersome. Cause truthfully this task ahead of me seems beyond my area of expertise, far outside my comfort zone and I haven’t started but I’m already tired. What happened to my yoke is light, my burden easy? God, I’m not sure this is really you.

Why don’t you just wake me up when its all over? I’m feeling you, Avicii. If I woke up at the end but started at the beginning, would that make God easier to trust and me less afraid.

Well, yes.

But I suppose the older more wiser me wouldn’t allow the “now” me to know. She wouldn’t share the good news of how great God is. Because she would want me to learn it all, every lesson there is. To feel the thrill of surprise and the pain of regret that accompany any great revelation in the character of God. She wouldn’t rob me of this journey knowing its exactly what made her her.

What really holds me back is fear. My fear of failure and my own desire to be affirmed, to be acknowledged and to be called great. To be recognized as better than, to be what others think you should be or to live up to all those expectations. Worst of all, simply put, to protect my own pride.

The only true motivation is love. Love of God, love of others. Anything that motivates my heart outside of those two sources will never truly satisfy and leave me open to rejection and hurt. I know this from experience and continue to struggle through.

The good news is God uses it all even when done with wrong motives but the journey is much easier on your soul when you focus on love.

I want people to be free. Heck, I want to be free. Be motivated by what will cause you to move. When you feel fear kick up the winds of your soul, focus your eye on the prize of love. Allow God to be enough, cause you are enough for Him.

Let Love motivate you and I vow to let Love motivate me. Deal, pickle?