That moment when you wish you had kept your mouth shut. It can come in many forms but for me, my regret consisted of analysis paralysis accompanied by verbal diarrhea. I was stuck in this place where my mind was trying to make sense of it but it was going nowhere. Yet my mouth was running. The only thing I accomplished was making it worse.

My intentions of course were to encourage, bless, lighten the load my husband was carrying that day. He was experiencing real heartbreak. Previously, he had been soaring high certain he was headed for new heights and like a dart to a hot air balloon comes criticism and betrayal.

My husband doing what he is great at.

I’m a good wife. With his hurt, I hurt. His offense becomes my defense. And defensive I was. He sat patiently and listened to my diatribe.  I’m sure in his saintly way trying to find the good in what was being said. The Bible says in an abundance of words, there is sin. I’m certain there was little good to be found in my expertise and opinion of his very personal and hurtful situation.

Like a bad hangover, I got up the next day to my morning coffee and Scripture reading to feel the sting of the error of my ways. All I can think to myself,  “When will I learn?”.  At what point will it sink in that I really don’t know much about anything. I fair so much better when I say so much less.

There truly is nothing good in me but God. His thoughts are way superior to mine. I try to think like Him but I am more successful when I believe He can think through me.

Hearing God’s voice can be a bit like seeing with peripheral vision. At first, we are certain we heard something but our certainty can quickly fade when we over think it. Don’t lean so much on your own understanding. When you think you have heard God, pray and ask God for confirmation. Look at what the Bible says about it. Counsel with a trusted friend. Wait and believe Him to show you what you need to know.

God is listening and always answers. I’m not sure we are as faithful to ask or wait.

Of course, this is the hard part. Laying it down in the midst of hurt and offense to hear His thoughts is a real struggle for me. I’m fairly certain when I’m all huffy puffy on the inside, twisted up and knotted through that I’m not seeing what God sees. We’ve got to stop and ask, “God, what do you see?”

If only I could get it right the first time. I long to get it right. However, my daily need for the cross makes me a far more interesting person.